Rosie and Josh Talkin’
“Hey Rosie, you ever been laid?” asked Josh.
“Don’t rightly know” answered Rosie.
Rosie barely seventeen and Josh goin’ on eighteen were talkin’. Rosie was leaning against the trench holding his head with his hands. Josh had seen him and he knew that Rosie was thinkin’ about those American GI’s that had accidentally killed on a combat patrol the night before.
“Well if you been laid, you sure as hell woulda’ knowed it. What is this bullshit ‘you don’t rightly know’. Now, God Damn it, Rosie, have you been laid or haven’t you?” asked Josh.
“Well, does doin’ it to yourself count?” asked Rosie.
‘Naw, that’s jerkin’ off, that ain’t getting laid” replied Josh
“Now, one more time. Rosie, have you ever been laid?” asked Josh
Rosie asked “Can I lie?”
Josh just rolled his eyes.
“Cause I’m downright embarrassed. No, I ain’t ever been laid” muttered Rosie.
“I knowed, I knowed it. You out here where you might get kilt and you ain’t ever been laid. That’s a waste of a good pecker. Sho’ nuff. These things gotta’ be used ya’ know “ Josh put his arm around Rosie and shook him gently.
“Why? It ain’t gonna’ fall off is it?” Rosie was funnin’ Josh right back.
Josh saw that and felt pretty good about it. He had nudged Rosie out of his self pity.
Rosie looked right at Josh and said “Josh, you ever been laid?”
Josh replied “sho nuff, a whole bunch of times.”
“How many times?” asked Rosie
Josh repeated “a whole bunch of times”
“How many times?” Rosie repeated.
“Well, I already done told you a whole bunch of times.” repeated Josh
Rosie said “seems to me if this gettin’ laid is as good as you say it is, you would remember how many times.”
“OK” Josh said. “Once.”
They both laughed real hard.
“Hey, here come our squad leader, Cpl Greff. He a good man. I sho’. do like him” said Josh.
“Yeah” Rosie said “an’ he French. Ah bet he been laid a whole bunch of times. Why don’t you ask him, Josh?”
“Ok, I will” replied Josh
“Corporal Greff, we got a talk goin’ on here about getting’ laid. Rosie ain’t ever been laid and me only once. How about you?”
Greff looked right at Josh and said “I have never been laid.”
Neither Rosie or Josh could believe that.
Rosie said “but you French, I thought you guys got laid all of the time.”
Greff looked at them both and said ”Frenchman don’t get laid, we make love, and I have made love, wonderful love hundreds of times.”
Greff with a very French smirk on his face, then spun on his heel, and stalked away.
Rosie and Josh stood there for a second with jaws dropped, big eyes and kind of a dazed look on their faces. They didn’t know this makin’ love stuff from nuthin’.
Then Josh looked at Rosie and said “Rosie, he say hundreds of times, you suppose we should find out sumthin’ about this makin’ love stuff.. Must be whole bunch better ‘n gettin’ laid or he wouldn’t be doin’ it so much
“Fo sure” said Rosie “ but ah don’t know if am ready for this hundreds stuff, Josh. Ah think ‘ah better take it a little easy, mebe just once to get the hang of it, before mebe’ somehthin’ happens”.
“Sho’ nuff’ said Josh “it aint right, a body getting’ kilt, before ya’ even get laid just onct..”
And then they put their arms around each other and laughed and laughed and danced a little jig in the trench.
